Thursday, 6 August 2015

The Comparison Curse

I've touched upon comparison quite a bit in previous posts but I thought I'd do a whole post on it cos why the hell not? I am extremely guilty of comparing myself to other people. To the point where I literally rip myself apart questioning why I'm not as good as other people. Why am I not as successful in my career as this person or why am I not as slim and toned as that person? It's torturous, tiring - and basically pointless. So why the eff do I do it?

I saw a quote recently which said "The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel."

This is so true. Instead of thinking of things that may actually be going really well in my life, I tend to just focus on what isn't. What I'm unhappy or insecure about. And I'll then compare the things that (in my opinion) aren't going well in my life to what it is going well in someone else's life. And it's just stupid because nobody's life is perfect. There will probably always be something missing from everyone's life and there's bound to be someone, out there, that will have that exact something that's 
missing from your life - and that's what can grind you down. 

Personally, I feel like social media has a huge part to play in this problem. Because, without it, how would I really know what half of the people I went to school with are doing now? I wouldn't. It's a fact that people like to show off on social media. Hey, I do it all time and why shouldn't we? But it's just important to remember exactly that. It is a summary of people's lives. Their highlight reel. But even though I know this - it still doesn't help to see people's seemingly perfect lives dangled in front of me when it feels like mines going to shit. Handy tip: If you're feeling down about not being able to afford to insure your Peugeot 107, it probs won't help to see a 17 year old Kylie Jenner posting pics of her Range Rover. That shit will never make you feel better.

But then I remember that even Kylie Jenner's life won't be perfect. She will probably compare herself to someone who is 'skinnier' or 'prettier' etc. Because we all want to be the best version of ourselves, don't we? We want to be that person who has their shit together. But I've realised that scrutinising someone else's life isn't going to make my own any better. It's fine to look up to someone else and use them as an inspiration. Perhaps they recently had a career change and it's spurred you on to do the same. However, there's a big difference between being inspired by someone and using their achievements to better yourself than simply making yourself feel shitty by comparing yourself to them. Questioning why you haven't done what they've done, wondering why their life is 'so much better than yours'. Chances are, it's not. 

So one of my aims is to stop with the comparison and focus on bettering myself - in my own way. Use other people as inspiration, yes, but don't let someone else's achievements make me forget my own. No matter how small they may seem. 

"Comparison with myself brings improvement. Comparison with others brings discontent." 
I think I'll wrap this up now because I've basically just rambled on about nothing but it always feels good to vent out my thoughts on here and see if there's any other weirdos out there that feel the same? 

Let me know in the comments below :) 

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